Soft Sunday Sounds...

So lately I've been listening to a lot of church music. I used to do this a lot in high school, especially on Sundays when I'd get ready for church, or when I would drive to and from the temple. I don't even know why I fell out of the habit of listening to so much of it! I had forgotten how good it makes me feel! I love how soothing the songs are! I love the messages being sung about! And I've even noticed it helps me get ready for church quicker.

For a couple of years the Relief Society in my parents' ward made CDs of a mix of different church songs that they would give to the ladies for their birthdays. I was in that ward and a part of the relief society for two years, so I was given two of them. I have had these CDs, one for three years and the other for four years, but I hadn't listened to either one of them until just a few weeks ago. I was getting ready for church one Sunday and I just felt like I needed a pick-me-up, so I found one of these CDs and put it in. I fell in love. This CD has some excellent songs on it! Some of them are super cheesey and some of them... well, I wouldn't have chosen some of the singers... But.. they are using the talent Heavenly Father gave them, so I try and not be a brat about them. ha ha But sometimes I slip up and skip the song. ;)

I've been having a hard time lately. Sometimes I feel like my life is totally falling apart. I don't know where life is heading. I don't know Heavenly Father's plan for me. And sometimes I catch myself feeling lost. As a family, we've had a lot go on in 2010 that has had a rather large impact on me. And I am so grateful for the support system of my family! They are so amazing!! But I have also noticed that listening to all of this church music has really helped me cope with everything going on.

There is one song that I have really become attached to. It's called Every Corner of My Heart. And it is sung by Hayley Anderson. It's a short, simple song. But the music is beautiful! And the lyrics are so powerful! (Maybe one day I will sing this in my branch. ha ha ha But... probably not! Not many people in my branch know I sing.. except my friends who sit next to me every Sunday and have to listen to me!) ;) Anyway... I love this song so much that I'm going to put the lyrics on here and share them with all of you! :)

My hands don't need to feel the scars
To know who you are.
My eyes don't need to see your face
To know your grace is real.

Lord, your mighty love is strong enough
Even now my soul remembers you. Somehow.
I don't need the veil to part,
I can feel you.
In every corner of my heart.

I don't need a wondrous sight
To know you're divine.
'Cause even though I can't see,
I feel your power changing me.

Lord, your mighty love is strong enough
Even now my soul remembers you. Somehow.
I don't need the veil to part,
I can feel you.
In every corner of my heart.
I can feel you.
In every corner of my heart.

I'm not sure why I have been so attached to this song lately. Maybe it's because I've started to realize that Christ really does need to occupy every corner of my heart. I have forgotten to add Christ into everything I do. And I really need to get back into that.

I must admit, my potty mouth has gotten pretty bad lately. I hadn't really noticed how terrible it was until I was hanging out with some friends the other night. We were standing in Clinton's kitchen (oh, by Clinton, I really mean Stephen Graham. Long story.) and I was talking to Janessa and Chelsea... Janessa had said something to which I responded with a "hell-to-the-no"... and Nick Chappell started laughing... and said, "Oh, Brindi. You sure know how to drive The Spirit out." I know he kinda meant it as a joke and just to give me a hard time, but I have really been thinking about it a lot lately. I need to INVITE The Spirit, not drive The Spirit away. I am so grateful to be a part of this group of friends!! I'm sure some days they wonder why they let me hang out with them, but I know it is because I need them. They are so amazing! So I'm sorry guys! I promise to get better! I love all of you. Thanks for trying to get me back on the straight and narrow. :) And thanks for being the best distraction on Sunday night. I know most of you don't know why we had to have a movie night on Sunday night, but it was because I had had a REALLY bad day, and I needed something to capture my attention so I wouldn't think about what was happening in my life. Chels, thanks for putting it all together! Janessa and Jared, thanks for coming with Chels! Clinton, thanks for not really ignoring our texts and coming after dinner at your sister's! ;) Nick, thanks for letting me bug you about leaving your sister's house and then coming. And Bryce, thanks for coming to hang out after a REEEALLY long day of traveling! You are all the best! I really appreciate all of you for coming over and hanging out! I really do love you all.

Finally... one more church song to leave you off. It's another one I've been thinking about lately. It's a primary song. And I LOVE it. It is: If the Savior Stood Beside Me. And the message is so perfect! If you haven't heard it and you know any kids in primary, have them sing it for you! :)

If the Savior stood beside me, would I do the things I do?
Would I think of His commandments and try harder to be true?
Would I follow His example?
Would I live more righteously, if I could see the Savior standing nigh, watching over me?

If the Savior stood beside me, would I say the things I say?
Would my words be true and kind, if He were never far away?
Would I try to share the gospel?
Would I speak more reverently, if I could see the Savior standing nigh, watching over me?

He is always near me, though I do not see Him there.
And because He loves me dearly, I am in His watchful care.
So I'll be the kind of person, that I know I'd like to be.
If I could see the Savior standing nigh, watching over me.

The Phone Call....

On Monday I was sitting at home and my phone starts to ring... So I pick up my phone and I see that it's a call from my sister, Misty. So I answer my phone with a hello... (like normal people do..) and I don't hear anything for a second, then all of the sudden I hear....

Hehwo? 

(in the cutest little Mia voice, EVER!)

I instantly melted. She has the cutest little voice! And I LOOOVE the way she says hello! So a phone call from Miss Mia was nearly Heaven on Earth! haha But... believe it or not.. the story gets better!

Misty called me because Mia kept walking around the house saying, "Bee? Bee? Where Bee?" So they called Bee!! Mia loved finding Bee on the phone! Misty was holding the phone for Mia so she kept telling Mia to say "Hi Bee!" So I'd say Hi Mias! and she'd say... Hi!! Hi!! or Hehwo? And then she'd say Bee? Bee? So I'd talk to her and she'd giggle and say Hi Bee! Then Misty was saying something and got interrupted because Mia had to kiss her! (Mia LOVES giving kisses!!) And then I heard this MUAH! Mia had kissed me through the phone!! It was the most delicious thing! She is so stinkin cute! And at the end of the call she said Bye! Love you.

YUP! I almost died! It was the best phone call I have ever received!!

In a world of numb....

Numb.

         That's the best way to describe it. The way I'm feeling.

                                       I don't even know where to begin.

How to put it. Or what to say.......

Life definitely has it's own coarse, doesn't it?

The shitty part of it all... we have no control over it.

No say. Whatsoever.

Not an option to pass this trial on.

Trade it for a new one.

There is no trading.

So what do you do?

How do you help the ones you love?

Who are hurting the most.

How do you take the pain away?

How do you stop the tears from falling?

How do you continue to be a rock,

when those around you crumble?

Why does it seem your world falls apart

and everything falls at the same time?

Why isn't there a pause button for life?

A chance to make time stop...

Just for a few minutes...

To be able to enjoy what you've got.

Before it all falls apart.

Before you fall apart.

Why can't life be fair?

Why do some people's trials repeat?

over and over and over and over.

Why is saying goodbye so hard?

Like I said earlier... I don't even know where to begin. So many thoughts, so many feelings. I hate when bad news all comes around at the same time. Years ago we went through this episode where every time we went to Bear Lake... we'd come home to bad news... I almost feel that we are about to begin the cycle again.

They say things happen in threes... but I'm really hoping we don't get anymore bad news.. for a long time.

Happening number one: A couple of weeks ago we found out our family friend's brain tumor is back... and quickly growing. The doctors have told him there is no longer anything they can do medically. The chemo and radiation did nothing. And I'm sure we don't have much time left. Blaine has an excellent attitude about it, and it is comforting to know he is at peace with the whole thing. However, it still doesn't make saying goodbye any easier.

Happening number two: About a week and a half ago I was at my cousin's house, cutting hair. I have been sooo lucky to be able to go over there! I have been there a few times to mess up her kitchen floor and make her boys look more handsome with fresh haircuts! Things with the baby had slowly started to go down hill. A couple months ago we thought we would only get a couple more weeks left to be around Saydria's delightful spirit.. but then she seemed to stay pretty neutral for another month or so... about three weeks ago they put in a feeding tube and Miss Saydria had a little more energy. I was over there a few days after it was put in and she was so smiley, talkative, and attentive. It was the cutest thing to just lay by her and talk to her. Hold her tiny little hand. And tell her I love her. She had gotten a little bit of a cold, so they were keeping a really close eye on her. It was a little scary for Kiri, but I think Saydria was doing pretty good. Then a little over a week ago it was time for me to do a couple haircuts.. (Kiri has her boys' haircuts staggered.. So it was time for Aiden and Wesley to get cuts...) Little Miss Saydria was downstairs hanging out with us! It was so fun to have her in the room and listen to her little voice. I had no idea that a week and two days later we would get that dreaded call. Last night we got the call that Saydria had passed away. We knew it would happen, but it's still not any easier to say goodbye.

Sometimes life just isn't fair. I know this is all a part of our Heavenly Father's plan. It makes it a little easier to deal with. Knowing I will get to see both of them again. But it is still a hard thing to go through.

I am so grateful to have had the opportunity to know Saydria! Even though she was only 6 months old, she was such an amazing spirit! She taught me so much in her short time with our family! I am so grateful Kiri and Casey let us get to know her! Miss Saydria, your sweet spirit will be missed.

 

I'm also very grateful to know Blaine. What an amazing man! He has been through so much. And worked so hard to be where he is now. I am so glad he was our neighbor. and my best friend. I will miss him so much! I will hate not having him at my wedding, but I know he'll be there in spirit, and for that I am very grateful!! I'm also very grateful we still have a little bit of time to spend with him.

I thank Heavenly Father for placing these people in my life! :)

My F.E.C. = Future Eternal Companion

My Mystery Man

My sister, Misty, sent me a text the other morning telling me she had a story to tell me.... Misty has this darling little three year old (who is almost 4..) and she is quite funny! The things she can come up with just kill me!

You see... Misty has always had a great imagination and she passed this same talent on to both of her children! Gavin and Tasha are GREAT at entertaining themselves and playing. They both have wild imaginations and can play pretend better than any other children I know. The stories and scenarios they come up with are great!!

Back to the original point of this post....

Misty sent me a text telling me she had a story to tell me. So of course I replied with... Okay, let's hear it..... I don't think I could have ever prepared myself for what was coming... The story goes a little something like this:

Tasha walked into Misty's bedroom and sat on her bed to talk to her. She asked, "Mom, who are all of my uncles?" So Misty told her who all of them were... to which Tash asked, "Will I get anymore uncles?" So Misty told Tasha that she would get one more uncle. Eventually Aunt Bee (that's me..) would get married and he will be her last uncle. Well.. with Tasha.. everyone has to have a name! And if you don't know their name, you have to make up one, or give them one. So Tasha asked Misty what her last uncle's name would be... to which Misty responded with, "I don't know Tash, we don't know who he is." So she said... "Well can't we give him a name?" So Misty said, "Sure! Shall we call him Brindi's Handsome Prince, for now?" Tasha's reaction: "No, I think his name is Pie-on-a-Potato."

What was my reaction? Oh, I almost died laughing! I had tears streaming down my face I was laughing so hard! However, I said to Misty, "Oh great! Now I'm really never going to get married! Not when he finds out that's the kind of name he is getting when he marries me!"

So, Mr. Pie-on-a-Potato, (whoever you are) you and I will be verrrry happy together. For eternity. I am dreadfully sorry for the name you've been given. But I really, really, really hope you can look past that unfortunate name and love me anyway.

Love,

The Future Mrs. Pie-on-a-Potato.

Things I've learned while lifeguarding at Dimple Dell:

    

I thought the Front Desk was always the best place to "people watch"... but I have recently realized that the pool is also an excellent source for these gems!! Ha! So here is a list of things that I've learned since becoming a guard-

1- The couples that fake bake together, stay together.

2- It is totally acceptable to let your three year old roam and wander to the deeper end if you're standing in the shallow end with your capris rolled up and the sleeves of your hoodie pushed up..

3- Lifeguards are just glorified and over-paid babysitters.

4- Twelve and thirteen year old girls now-a-days are wearing the skimpiest bikinis... seriously, moms? Yeah... that's definitely the message you want your little girls to be putting out there. Congratulations on the Best Mom of the Year Award. NOT.

5- It is also totally acceptable for really heavy women to be wearing these same bikinis and let everything just hang out... Are these moms sharing swimsuits with their daughters now?

6- No matter what age you are... moobs are NOT attractive! --unless, of course, you've got a mullet to go with those moobs... then it's just straight up classy!!

7- More PDA is shown at a pool than in High School hallways... and by adults in their late 20s - early 30s. You freaks are known to all of the guards as "the gross couple over there".

8- Everything gets blamed on the Head Guard. (-or the front desk.)

9- In a matter of a millisecond a kid will forget you just whistled at them and told them to stop running.

10- Being cooped up in the guardroom with someone you don't like makes it the longest 15 minute break... EVER!

11- Being on 15 minute rotations makes you live your life in 15 minute increments.

12- If a child can't tell you their name... they are not old enough to be in the pool by themselves.

13- If it's not a scandalous bikini... then basketball shorts and a T-shirt are the new swimsuit for girls....

14- If you don't run to the slide it might disappear in the five extra seconds it would take you to get there... yup.. us lifeguards like to do magic tricks like that.. watch out! ;)

15- A wet white T-shirt over a bikini doesn't hide a thing...

16- Yellow T-shirts are also see-through...

17- The people you can't stand visit the pool more often then anyone else.

18- Lap swimmers get really mad when they have to share a lane. -they also get mad when they are asked to move for a swim lesson.

19- When the pool is dead the guards play "I spy" with each other to keep them awake.

20- Lifeguards are definitely a different breed of humans....

This is sometimes what i feel
like I'm working with...

Half Birthday....

Today was my half birthday!!! Yes, I am weird, i LOVE celebrating half birthdays! :) I love celebrating birthdays, too.. But I think half birthdays are more fun!! :) People don't expect to hear happy half birthday!

I have always hated having a birthday in December.. (sorry to any of you who have December birthdays and love it...) when i was little all my friends with summer birthdays got to have fun parties outside and in pools or at parks and such... most of mine were indoors... playing those lame party games that everyone got sick of within the first five seconds! (Thank you mom for trying anyway...) However... the perk to having a birthday in December... is having a HALF birthday in JUNE!! :)

I'll be honest... I love June! I'm not sure why it's my favorite month... but it is! The weather is usually perfect! Not too hot, not too cool. Its the first month we officially start busting out all the summer things! Summer activities, summer outfits, summer foods and treats, summer vacations, etc. I love the BBQs, the family dinners outside, pasta salad, the bright colored clothing i wear, my billions of pairs of flip flops, swim suits, weekend get-aways to my house at Bear Lake, laying out, snow cone stands everywhere, popcicles and otter pops, boating, wakeboarding, all the flowers, and all the outdoor weddings! And I am sure there are many other things i am forgetting about!! :)

But just for a second lets focus on the last thing i put... I LOVE outdoor wedding receptions! They are beautiful!! ---- We all know most girls plan their weddings when they are little... luckily we change our minds about some of the things we want! ;) ---- But i have always wanted my wedding to be in June, on a Friday, and outside. When i was a sophomore in high school i would always tell people i wanted to get married on June 3rd and when i was twenty-three and a half... During my senior year i figured out what year i would be 23 and a half... (and it happened to be on a Friday... How perfect!) haha But that year i had a few teachers predict that i would be married within a year of graduating... to which i would reply... No! I'm going to go to two years of college, go on a mission, be home for a year, do more schooling, and THEN get married. On June third, two-thousand eleven.. 

HA!! My how quickly plans change! :) I only did ONE year of college... (then went to a year of hair school- which was the best decision ever, by the way!) And as I'm sure you all know.. I didn't go on a mission. But... there is one goal that I have not missed or messed up.... yet. hahaha

Today is June 3rd, 2010... and I am now twenty-two and a half... meaning i have exactly ONE YEAR until my "dream wedding date"... One year to: find someone i can't live without, date him, be engaged to him, plan a wedding, and get married... haha!! To answer your question- No, I honestly don't think it will happen.. So in that case, if "Plan A" really doesn't work out, i have come up with a "Plan B" for June 3rd, 2011... I want to go through the temple and receive my endowment! Either way.. something HUGE and super special will happen on June 3rd, 2011. I think it's a great alternative!! :)

Life hasn't gone exactly the way i had planned... Four years ago I thought I had it all figured out... But... circumstances and opportunities come up, things happen, and sometimes even mistakes are made... all of which change our plans a little bit. However, I am extremely grateful for the way my life has worked out. I have some pretty amazing friends. I've learned very valuable lessons. I have learned who i am and who i want to be. I have learned what kind of guy i DON'T want to marry, and what kind of guy i DO. I have learned that in order to attract that kind of guy, i MUST be that kind of girl. I have learned how grateful i am to be a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. And I have learned how much my Heavenly Father truly loves me! I am also sooo grateful that Heavenly Father knows what is best for me. I might think i know how my life should go, but in the end, i am always glad He took the reins.

Hate Mail...

Dear Summer:

Where have you been? I think you took too long of a vacation! Your appearance is WAY past due. So I am really hoping you are here to stay... and you plan on staying for awhile.

Yes, yes I do realize I live in Utah and the weather is bound to change in 5 minutes... However.. you sure have been getting lazy the past few years. You think it is acceptable to show up late and leave early. Not cool! Please remember you have a lot of people counting on you to show up! No more late comings or you will be forced to stay and not get paid overtime! Shape up!! Mmkay?

Thanks a bunch!!

Love,

Brindi